Whether you deem yourself an introvert, and intimate extrovert, a reserved extrovert, or somewhere in-between it all, this post is for YOU – an introverted couple!
Do you feel drained when you’re in a crowd of people of do you feel alive? Are you reflective and take time making decisions (like if you really need this cart full of dollar section items from Target)? Does the idea of having to do a grand march into your wedding reception make your knees shake?
If yes to all of the above, then you can consider yourself introverted!
Nope, this isn’t JUST for two halfs of a couple that are both introverted. In fact, it’s incredibly common for one partner to be introverted while the other is extroverted (Just ask myself and Bryan 😉 – he has gladly performed on stage while I sweat just thinking about if someone asks me a question on a group zoom call)
Still not sure? This tried and true mini quiz can help determine if you’re more of an introvert of an extrovert!
If you’re riding the line between cringing at some traditions but loosely loving them at the same time, then let’s get this ball rolling! Raising our glasses to the introverts tonight!
Wedding Ideas for Shy Couples
1. Un-Announced Cake Cutting
Let’s skip the part where the DJ turns the spotlight on you and announces to the entire room that you’ll be cutting a piece of cake.
Instead, no one notices while you snag your boo thang and cut the cake for yourselves. Just make sure you do yourself a favor and cut that slice extra large. No one deserves a tiny piece of cake, especially on their own wedding day 😉
2. Anniversary Dance in lieu of first dance
The problem: Dancing isn’t your thing, but you still want to have that tradition with your new spouse.
The solution: Turn it into an opportunity.
This is one of our top tips for an introverted couple! When the dance floor has been bumping for awhile, your DJ invites all married couples to the dance floor. After a few minutes of dancing, the DJ will ask couples who have been married 5 hours or less to leave the dance floor. Then ten, then 15, then 20, etc. The couple who is left longest on the dance floor then gives their best marriage advice to the newly weds.
Here’s what makes this extra special – aside from the not having everyone’s eyes on you (their too busy worried about dancing with their SO), it’s an opportunity to witness a history of strong love. We now suggest this to EVERY single couple. And it’s all because of the photos below.
In the middle of the dance floor, Jacob’s wheel-chair bound grandparents reached out, and grasping each others hands. Caretakers gathered around to gently lift each of them out of their chairs. Grandma and Grandpa clutched each other close. A man who couldn’t walk or stand on his own, stood to dance with his wife at during the anniversary dance. Just a few months later we received a text from Karli that Jacob’s grandfather had passed away . “Your photos of our day will forever show us just how strong and powerful and loving of a man Richard Harkins was.”
3. Private vows
On your own wedding day, you get to spend very little time together. Private vows are a way to spend a few intentional moments, together.
Whether it’s right after your first look or if you read them around the corner to each other, you have a perfect opportunity to tell your soon-to-be-spouse what your heart truly wants to convey. There is so much power in that.
Here’s what to do:
- Grab two cute vow books that compliment your personalities (here’s a one of our favorites!), well before your wedding day. Emphasis on the “well before” part 😉
- No later than two weeks prior sit down and dig into what your partner means to you! Write it down in your vow book
- Pick a secluded spot- away from well-intentioned family with their phone camera, away from the hustle and bustle of last minute decor being setup.
- Let it sink in and read those vows as a reflection of your heart.
- After vows are done, go get hitched and read traditional vows during your ceremony!
A public celebration of your love doesn’t mean you need to perform. It’s not selfish to keep intimate moments to yourselves.
4. Bye Bye Wedding Party
If the idea of hanging out with a ton of people sounds little overwhelming and draining, skip the wedding party.
Instead, select one to two very close friends or family members to help you get dressed or spend the morning with you. Or pick your fiance to get ready with.Honestly- you don’t have to have anyone get ready with you if you don’t want to.
The family and friends that support you most (which are the ones you would want at your wedding celebration in the first place) already know you’re an introverted couple. So this idea likely won’t even come as a surprise.
Lisa and Arie opted for no wedding party. Lisa selected her dear friend (who was also the officiant!) to get ready with her. In the next room, Arie opted for some time alone as he got ready.
Not having so many people in the room actually slows things down. There isn’t someone asking you questions about how the tables should be set while someone else is struggling to find their other shoe. You actually get to enjoy the process of getting ready on your wedding day.
Our pick? Chose your spouse to get ready with. And you can even do it without seeing each other.
Before Jess hopped into her wedding dress she tied a silk blindfold on Aaron. She got into her dress but left it unbuttoned. While blindfolded Aaron buttoned every single one of those little buttons. This meant that they were even still able to share a first look later on in the day!
Alternative Weddings for Introverts
5. Nix the Head Table a King’s Table
Gone are the days of sitting at a one-sided raised table where everyone else in the room watches you eat. We’re skipping head tables and sweetheart tables. Instead, we’re talking a King’s table!
A king’s table is a long, large rectangular table. The newly weds are seated in the middle on one edge of the table while guests, family members, WHOEVER of their choosing is seated all around them. It’s the best way to create an intimate, intentional setting. And you’re quite literally, surrounded by the people you love most.
At Osteria Van Stato in Chicago IL, Katie and Paul opted for a taper candle and floral laden King’s Table. The night was filled with laughter and fun stories were swapped. Glasses clinked across the table. While the hustle and bustle of Chicago continued on outside, inside the King’s Table was intimate and joy-filled. Truly an introverted couples dream.
6. Make it micro
Micro-weddings were coined during the 2020 Covid-19 Pandemic. When couples began realizing they could have an entire wedding day, but on a micro scale, the doors of opportunity flew open! Micro-weddings are no longer a thing of the pandemic; rather they’re a first choice.
Typically 20 guests or less consisting of extremely close friends or family, is classified as a micro-wedding. A micro-wedding is an intimate wedding on a more intentional scale.
The coolest, most unique way to have a micro-wedding: Lily and Liam rented out an air bnb for their closest family and friends for an entire weekend on the shores of Door County. They spent three days having bonfires, playing board games, and sharing meals with their families. Their families were able to use that time to get to know each other better too! And in the middle of those special moments they tied the knot.
Introvert Friendly Weddings
7. Elope first; reception later
Elopements are no longer only a court house affair. They’re all about intentional, sweeping romance. It means that you’re personalizing every moment of your wedding day and making it an adventure rather than a fleeting moment.
If your introverted self loves the idea of both an intimate elopement and a fun celebration with your community of people, why not elope first and have a reception at a later point?
On a breezy fall day, Jess and Aaron hiked up to Devil’s Lake for their insanely beautiful elopement. They’re two individuals who fall in the introverted couple slot. They’re intimate extroverts who relish in intentional time. They exchanged powerful vows, popped champagne, and even had a traditional cigar and whiskey toast – just the two of them. Jess’ mom even wrote her letter of love and well-wishes to be opened during their elopement.
A few weeks later they had a big reception at a log cabin in the woods! Between the sky high Jack Pines, they had a ring-warming ceremony, where every guest took a moment to hoover their hand over the rings and sent silent well wishes. Afterwards guests enjoyed a cigar and Old-Fashioned station before heading into the tented reception of food and long, lavishly decorated farm tables.
8. Skip the Grand March
Let’s be honest. If you’ve been a bridesmaids or groomsman at any point in your life, I’m sure you remember the dread in the pit of your stomach about having to be announced in front of a group of people. The spotlight swings to you and everyone waits in anticipation for you to do something more unique and epic than the last wedding party member.
Skip it. Not just for your wedding party but for yourself.
To put it simply, while guests transition from cocktail hour to dinner, you transition with them. No announcements. You just get in line at the buffet or take a seat at the table! *dusts off hands* done and done!
Whether you’re an introverted couple or just one half of the couple is introverted, the main message here is clear: don’t follow something you’re uncomfortable with just because it’s a tradition. Let’s change the standard to be a personalized celebration.